Yes can be the hardest word - part 2

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Lester Wills

I started this series on ways to elicit the often elusive YES word. I started by providing some ideas that you can use when talking with people. Here are some more:

Explain why

This is simple and effective. Use the word because to explain why you want the person to follow your request. Having established they fears and their goals, you can explain that you want them to follow your suggestion because it will enable them to get to their goals, not yours but theirs. You can ask if they are prepared to look back in say ten years when they have not achieved their goals and ask themselves whether they are in that position because they did not follow a clear and sensible path that would have enabled them to achieve what they wanted.

As you can see, this is not rocket science, it is merely the simple application of tried and tested ideas. Here are another ten simple ideas and concepts to illustrate what I shall be looking at during theses articles.

Simple things to consider when trying to reach that all important Yes word:

When they think about persuasion, most people emphasize their own experiences too much, rather than depending on data or techniques.

Increase your persuasive power by understanding six core principles: "reciprocation," "authority," "commitment/consistency," "scarcity," "liking" and "social proof."

A small gift or favor will make you more persuasive. People will want to pay you back.

The public believes in authority, so enlist higher-ups on your side.

People want to be consistent and committed, so show how your proposal aligns with their values.

The rarer something is, the more people want it.

Individuals want to be liked, so practice seeing the good in them.

People tend to follow the majority. By establishing norms, you can get them to act as you wish. Fear paralyzes people, so use scare tactics only if you offer an antidote to fear.

Admit your errors. Demonstrating honesty increases your influence.

As you can see, applying rational thought to the process can provide a means to achieve the goal of getting people to agree. Sadly, most people do not adopt a rational approach.

I am sure we all are aware that persuasion as we know it is based on human psychology. The problem is that because life gives everyone direct experience of that psychology. It is a human trait for people to base their approach on their personal experiences when they try to persuade others. Sadly, this does not always work as what may be important and persuasive to one person, may not be to another. Not only that most people are not particularly good at understanding just what it was that persuaded them in the first place, let alone coming up with the real reason why they did something.

What usually happens is that they jump to the most obvious conclusion. The problem is this tends to be based on faulty data. That is why persuasion is seen as an "art" and treated as a mysterious phenomenon.

Besides being overly reliant on their personal experiences with others, many tend to rely far too much on introspection. People tend to look inwards and ask, "what would motivate me to do whatever it is?' By examining their own motives they usually come to the conclusion that by tapping into their own values and identity they came come up with a persuasive message. Sadly, by looking too far inward and putting in terms of their own values, they can all too easily miss what could be a very simple yet very effective approach to the problem.

Hopefully some of this has been useful, but wait, there's more, next time.

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